A Knight, His Lady, & their Clan: October 2008

Seth has a real thing for monster trucks. I bought him a DVD about them that he loves and watched at least twice a day for a while. He takes them in the car, and almost always goes to bed with one in his hand. About two months ago, we were saying family prayer together while Seth rolled around the room, (or danced, or did whatever else he usually does while we pray). The person saying the prayer said they were thankful for President Monson. No doubt Seth heard something else because we suddenly heard his quiet voice start chanting, "monster trucks, monster trucks" over and over, getting louder and louder. We quickly finished the prayer before we all burst out laughing.

Then tonight it was his turn to say family prayer, so I was helping him. We were saying our list of things we were thankful for, "We're thankful for our family, we're thankful that we're all healthy, etc." Then he says, "and Monster truck...DDD" (DVD) and he continues on with what I had just prompted him to say. The girls couldn't hold the laughter in so we had to quickly end the prayer.

I have this problem. I feel guilty about everything. I should have known that when I started a blog, all it would do is add one more thing in my life I have to feel guilty about. Why do I do this to myself? I hope someday to delve deep enough into my psyche to figure out the event in my childhood that no doubt left me crippled. But until then...I will do my darndest to justify my actions (or lack thereof in this case).

So here's the thing people. Let me lay it out for you. This is a typical weekday for me. I get my daughter Hadley off to school by 7:40. Then it's getting Seth ready for the day (this includes making sure he has his favorite monster truck or car for that day--it changes every few days). Then I have to plead and beg for Lillian to crawl out of bed so I can then plead with her to get dressed (please do NOT wear those apple print pants with that brown and green striped shirt, honey). Then after I spend time explaining how Mommy can't be late for work and to please get downstairs so I can feed you breakfast (in the midst of all this I have to shower, blow-dry, make-up, etc.). She somehow manages to fit it all in just under the wire and we pile into the car. Then it's off to drop Seth at the babysitters and Lillian at her friend's house (they take her to school for me).

Then I get to spend 2 1/2 hours teaching music at a grade school. I won't go into detail here. Let's just say that, as with any teaching job, some days are heaven, some are hell.

Then I get home just in time to pick up Seth from the babysitters and head over to the school to pick Lillian up at noon. Then I come home and make them lunch. By the time I get Seth down for a nap, make and eat my own lunch, clean up lunch messes, it's usually after 1:00. And you can bet Lillian is needing some one-on-one time with me. She's not afraid to let me know. Then I have that little bit of time between playing a game with Lillian and that time of day where you say, "Crap, what am I doing for dinner tonight?" to get everything else done. And so on, and so on... I won't even describe what things are like when I'm rehearsing a show, or worse, in the run of a show. Yes, I COULD use my nights after the kids are in bed to get more done. If only my body would cooperate with me in this.

So how do I fit in all the rest? Don't know. Some days I don't. Sometimes I have energy to get it all done (pretty darn rare). Sometimes something's gotta give. Or lots of somethings. I try to not let that be my kids or my calling. I won't give up my shows because it is the one thing I do for myself. It feeds me--emotionally and creatively. For those of you who have never done it, you probably don't know what I'm talking about, but you'll just have to trust me. We all have our things we need that are just for us, and this one is it for me.

Now, I'm not trying to play the "I'm busier than you" game. Really I'm not. I'm just trying to let you all know why blogging happens just shy of never.

Anyway, here's a few pictures to pacify you all (all three of you who read my blog) until the next time, whenever that is!

The girls decided to do a lemonade stand this summer. They made about $8 (thanks for that handfull of change from your car, Brooke!)